Arguments are normal in relationships. When two individuals live together, conflicts are bound to happen. The key to a happy relationship is not to avoid conflicts, but how you tackle and resolve them.
Here are four common causes of arguments among couples and how to handle them in a non-aggressive way.
Money often reflects a person’s values around freedom, generosity, security and lifestyle. If you have different spending values and practices, and you don’t have frank discussions about personal expenses, it can cause a huge problem.
If you and your spouse often find yourselves fighting about money, instead of focusing on how expensive a purchase is, talk about how you feel about having and not having enough money for your family’s day-to-day needs. Once you’ve identified the root cause of the problem, it’s easier to negotiate and come up with solutions that will work for the both of you.
2. Extended Family
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re also in a relationship with their family and relatives. Couples fight if an extended family member infringes too much on the marital relationship of the couple. The fight may happen when personalities clash, but it can also happen because a balance is not met.
To prevent arguments due to the extended family, be sure to express how much each other’s family is important for the both of you and talk through how best to make everyone feel important, while also preserving your relationship as the priority.
3. Household Chores
When you feel like the load isn’t shared equally, resentment slowly builds up, leading to explosive fights. But the real cause of conflict, however, is the lack of appreciation for what each other have contributed.
The best way to avoid such arguments is to discuss your expectations, both in the division of duties and in appreciation for the efforts made. Share each other’s thoughts, and you’ll see that the process of sharing household chores becomes a more enjoyable experience.
4. Power Over Decision-Making
If anyone of you feels like you don’t have equal say in the relationship, especially when it comes to decision-making, the one that feels less important will try to be heard by going loud. So, instead of handling this conflict in a calm manner, the subject erupts into a large argument that the other may not see coming.
The solution to this one is to be aware of the each other’s personalities especially if one is more dominating and the other is more of a go-with-flow. Agree that regardless of your attitude towards things, important decisions must be made by consulting each other.
These are just four of the many things that couples often fight about. But regardless, the most important thing is that you respect each other and do things with the consent of one another at all times.